Day 5 - Hot Fun Driving Through the City

I grew up in an apartment building, well, more like a complex of buildings. As it is with all apartment complexes there was a place where the "cool" kids hung out and watch the rest of us walk by. Most days were uneventful for me, but, on this day, something happened. I was about twelve years old on this day and like most twelve year olds I was self conscious and nervous whenever I walked past the "cool" guys that hung out by the little park. 

On this day as I walked past one of the boys, walked along side me and taunted me saying, "Hey, why do you walk that way? You dress like a boy and walk like a man." I just walked faster as I went to the store and avoided them on the way back. This was the beginning of a difficult time in my life - my fashion sense was developing and, this was the inspiration I needed to make great choices and buy good looking clothes. Although I don't get taunted like that anymore, I have been slipping lately.

According to my girls I could wear jeans that fit a little better (I have lost some weight and don't dress to accent my new figure). So today, when I was getting dressed to go into the city, I did it differently.

My daughter lent me a pair of adorable jeans (of hers) that looked like I might have to pour them on and a beautiful vest style cover up. I have to admit, I looked great and I felt better. 

After my visit in the city I decided to try a new route home - through Central Park! Every time I go into the city I am reminded how much I love it. Central Park is one of New York City's great gifts. I love it. So when I was coming home tonight I drove through the park to go from the East side to the West. Then I took the "scenic" route through Harlem and Washington Heights to the GWB. Ironically, I had never been through this part of the city. "This is my 'new'", I told my sister. "Mine, too" she said. I don't think she was as excited as I was driving through the most colorful parts of town, but, what the heck - it worked for the two of us.

Day 4 - Mindfulness and Forgiveness

Everyday I try to align myself with my best self. I don't want to let my thoughts just wander to someplace without knowing where that is - I want to choose. Granted, sometimes I don't make the best choices, but, I am on a journey and that is part of it. The destination is superfluous to the process. We all end up in the same place - it is the journey that differentiates us. Feeling good is easy sometimes - feeling better is easy other times. It's the journey. Training the frequency to better feeling thoughts - better ideas - better decisions.

Doing things differently isn't always going to work out right, or, as I planned. One thing I know for sure, though, following my gut, is better than doing what I think. 


I want to say this in a way that is surely going to make sense. 


Imagine walking in a store looking around for something you want but, you are not even sure if they carry it. You "feel" you are in the right place all the while in your head you are hearing that little voice that says you are nuts. "You looked everywhere, they don't have it," your head is saying. Yet,in your gut you are feeling it is right in front of you and still you are not seeing it. Follow your instinct - your source. I was in this exact situation today. Then, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and when I looked again... I found what I was looking for right away.


My head is full of things I have learned, but it is my heart that is so much better at discerning right action. Today I learned that doing things differently isn't always better. Following my source, my higher self is better even if most people would disagree. Following my source - it's always better and as a bonus - anxiety free!

When I worked on my "new" today I had great success. I have often put aside an old small appliance and said - well if the kids don't want it - I will give it to the vets. Now I am trying to clean out my basement and it is like a "give it to the vets" celebration! 


Today, in an effort to do something new, I went to the Vietnam Veterans of America website and clicked - come and pick up your stuff. They are coming Thursday. That's new. Saying, then doing right away - new.


You should have seen me today. I was rummaging through the basement gathering up things like crazy. I came across sonograms from my first pregnancy, tax returns from before I was married, honeymoon momentos, and a photo from the first day we brought my youngest home. It is so easy to wander as you do these types of chores and ordinarily I would wander - I did wander - but I am practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness comes when you are so fully involved in what you are doing that you and the activity become one. It is different from concentrating - because it does not require effort. It is awareness without effort.

Finding this photo I wandered back to the day we brought my son home - to this day in the picture. I was mindful of the way the room looked, the feelings and emotions that were going on in me and my daughters that day. I was mindful of them TODAY. I wouldn't trade that for anything and I didn't mind wandering there, either. Sometimes wandering is a mindful activity, right?

Doing something differently today, meant doing something that didn't feel right and it turned out it was not right. Mindfulness would have prevented me from making that wrong turn because I would be mindful of my source. My "new" choice today was awesome preparing for the vets gave me a chance to see the past with new eyes. My mindfulness to that reflection warmed my heart. That warmth, I trust, will help me forgive myself.

Day 3 - And now for something completely different...

Today I started with a meditation, but I skipped the lemon and cayenne tea. Just forgot, nothing special. I find that starting the day with these meditations is pretty cool Sets a tone for me to leap off from. I was in touch with one of my childhood friends this morning. She had her heart broken by some reckless guy. What is up with that? Recently, I have heard about this from a few friends. Men are just callous and cavalier with their feelings. Stop that, guys.

Anyway, on to something completely different: Well, today is different in that I am not working this week due to Sukkot. (work at an Orthodox Yeshiva) Not different enough though. I wanted something more - so - I decided to take my son to Boston Market after school. He was hungry and wanted me to take him to get something to eat. We never go there - so - today we did. As if that weren't different enough - we stayed and he ate there! Wow, can it get any better than this!? (sarcastic - I promise to try harder tomorrow.)

As for new - well, I thought I had that all sewn up. I took a jewelry making class last year and I decided that I would attempt to make a necklace today. Now when we took the class we made earrings, bracelet and I attempted a necklace ... twice... but was never successful. So today I decided to be successful. As I came to the end of the string I noticed that it wasn't long enough. After some careful deliberation I came up with a master plan. Manipulate the string so I can attach a second one thereby lengthening the necklace.

"Genius", you say. Well, I'm blushing. OK not so much.

After I finish stringing the entire thing - It is about 18 inches long. I used an elaborate method of stringing each bead and tying a knot after each was in place. It looks spectacular. It took me a while to figure out how to put the little circle on for the clasp, but, finally.... it was finished!

Now to put it on. Perfect! I got up to look in the mirror and it fell apart.:( I laughed so hard. After all that work (three hours) carefully stringing these beads and then in seconds it fell apart. I am sure there is some deep scholarly message in there, but I am refusing to see it that way.

Sometimes that is how it is... you work at something for three hours or eight months and then suddenly it falls apart. You really didn't contribute to the breakdown, yet, there you are holding two strands of beads in your hands looking in the mirror and just laughing out loud.

Laughing is good.

Day Two - What's New?

At the outset of my day I asked myself - what can I do that will be new? The "different" part was easy. Instead of waking up and making coffee while contemplating the next move of my life or rushing off the Spin class without contemplating a single thing; I made a cup of hot water to which I added the juice of 1/4 lemon and 1/8 tsp of cayenne. Then instead of just sipping that while zipping along I decided to read from the morning meditation and write with pen and paper my take from the reading. Starting my morning differently (in this way) gave me the opportunity to really think about my next step.

My friend wrote on her wall today, "...We have ample time to manifest other dreams and change direction. We can do and be whatever we want, anytime we want, we just need to figure out what makes us happy and brings joy into our hearts. We've heard through the years " do what you love and love what you do". It is difficult for some of us to comprehend because we get caught up in financial worry and can't seem to see our way through. Sometimes, it's just a matter of changing our perspective and loving what we are presently involved in or we decide that what we are currently doing stifles us and holds us prisoner. When we are out of alignment with what we want in our heart of hearts then it might be time for a house cleaning. Don't be afraid of change, it's the best part of every journey. Today, dream it, see it, feel it, manifest it, then allow yourself to receive it."


I am inspired by these words. So often we forget our invincibility when we are in the midst of personal conflict. I have forgotten my power. Focusing on what is going on around me prevents me from telling the story of my life the way I want it to be. Perception makes reality not the other way around. I must perceive my life the way I want it to be and then it is so.


At the outset of my day I asked myself - what can I do that will be new? The "different" part was easy. Instead of waking up and making coffee while contemplating the next move of my life or rushing off the Spin class without contemplating a single thing; I made a cup of hot water to which I added the juice of 1/4 lemon and 1/8 tsp of cayenne. Then instead of just sipping that while zipping along I decided to read from the morning meditation and write with pen and paper my take from the reading. Starting my morning differently (in this way) gave me the opportunity to really think about my next step.

My friend wrote on her wall today, "...We have ample time to manifest other dreams and change direction. We can do and be whatever we want, anytime we want, we just need to figure out what makes us happy and brings joy into our hearts. We've heard through the years " do what you love and love what you do". It is difficult for some of us to comprehend because we get caught up in financial worry and can't seem to see our way through. Sometimes, it's just a matter of changing our perspective and loving what we are presently involved in or we decide that what we are currently doing stifles us and holds us prisoner. When we are out of alignment with what we want in our heart of hearts then it might be time for a house cleaning. Don't be afraid of change, it's the best part of every journey. Today, dream it, see it, feel it, manifest it, then allow yourself to receive it."


Today my "new" was to start my "Book of Possibilities". This book will provide for me a picturesque view of the possibilities that exist in my life. Viewing my life through positive aspects and perceptions of all as new. It is not the destination that makes the trip worthwhile it is the trip itself.

Day One

It's working! Today I had a goal - come up with one new thing to do and one thing to do differently. It was tough at first to come up with something new. I had so many ideas at first - most grandiose - not simple - but it turned out that simple was best. "Real Simple".

I picked up my most recent copy of "Real Simple" magazine and came across an article about how to clean my laundry room in 15 minutes. I had to laugh! I never even knew I should clean my laundry room - let alone in fifteen minutes! OK So I decided to give it a whirl. I made a copy of the article and headed downstairs. This is certainly something new.

I began following the directions - so funny. Toss the trash, dust the cobweb, use wipes to clean the shelves and sink... OK. Confession time - I have NEVER done any of this so fifteen minutes is not nearly enough. However, this was such a rewarding project. I ended up cleaning everything, replacing the dryer vent, repainting the top of the appliances, fixing the lighting, vacuuming, dusting, wiping down everything. In the end the laundry room looked great. Truth be told, I always wanted to get that room up to speed and this gave me the opportunity to do that.

So much for something new. Now for something differently. This was more difficult. Today something differently - instead of putting my shoes back in the closet while they were in desperate need of repair - I took them to the shoemaker. I pick them up on Thursday.

One down - ninety-nine to go.

To Begin Again

You know those days when you look at your life and wish you did it a little differently. The days when you find yourself saying, "I really should go to the gym", "I need to cut out carbs", "Gosh, I wish I could get a grip on my life!" Well today is the day I stop saying and start doing. Each day from today until 100 days from now I vow to:

1. Do one thing differently each day.
2. Do one new thing each day.
3. Blog my progress each day.

I wanted to start over - who doesn't? Not that my life isn't good. I am blessed with a great kids, husband, dog, home, job... I just want to make me better. I think I have been skating along in my life and I wanted to start a 100 day bucket list. Each new thing is one less thing on my bucket list and while I would love to go to Egypt to see the pyramids, or Columbia to visit Macchu Picchu and drink coconut milk from my hut in Bora Bora I am going to start small. New phase, new ideas, new talents, new, new, new!

To the new day - SALUD!