On Becoming

Not knowing... I think that is the hardest part. I enjoy figuring things out - knowing how they fit together, how they work. Not knowing can be tough. Faith is what helps when you don't know, I think. Take for example the day you arrive home in a black out. You know where everything is in your home, right? So, you walk confidently into your home - stepping in faith because no one changed the arrangement of your furniture. Then, you trip over the shoes you decided not to wear to work that morning - you forgot - but you continue in faith, KNOWING that you can walk through the maze of your home safely in the dark. Now let's take that to the next place, the "not knowing" place. If you are faith-filled, confident, stepping out in the "not knowing" place is easy to navigate because even if you trip on a shoe, your faith tells you to continue stepping. We each have the blessing of knowing how to step in faith, but how do we get there when we are overwhelmed and lacking confidence?

How do I get to the faith-filled place? How do I step out of the not knowing and into the knowing of uncharted waters? I learned through the grace of my life that uncharted means only that I will have new experiences, new challenges... new ways for me to grow and expand. Well, heck, what is the purpose of life if not to grow and expand?

Tonight I face a "not knowing" place in my life. In some strange way I am comforted by the familiarity of greeting new challenges and inspired by my cohorts on this journey. I struggle with what I know to be true about life and what I am feeling. For example, I know there is NOTHING to fear - yet, I feel afraid. I want to cry and tremble, but I KNOW there is nothing to fear. How can I still the quivering soul inside me when the challenges before me seem to loom so large? How can I allow the "what is about to be" when the "what is" of my life is a giant shadow?  That is the challenge of this day.

My attention is re-focused on what is becoming and away from what is - every chance I get. The fear is my mind trying to know what it cannot know. I must keep my mind focused on where my feet land. Sometimes I say to myself, "Lisa, you can't be in two places in one mind! Make up your mind!!"

So it is faith that will sustain me and keep me focused... it is love that will keep me strong... it is the people around me that uplift me when I sink... it is the love of my world that keeps me at peace.